Our ability to collaborate is crucial for innovation and for moving forward in what we want to do in the world. "We hear about collaboration and how important it is in all we do," a Panasonic business development manager told me before a two-day innovation program I led last week in New Jersey. "But the truth is we have so little time and so much is virtual that collaboration seems more like a wish than a reality." The time-limited nature of all our interactions means that when we do talk with collaborators, live or on the phone, we need to do so with skill and purpose. Instead of our typical way of interacting--I report, you report, she reports, meeting over; or you suggest an idea and I tell you eloquently what's wrong with it--we need to learn the art well known to improvisors: To fully support your collaborators' ideas, no matter how wacky they might seem. The key is to consciously shift to following. We practiced this distinction at the Big Ooga networking event I facilitated Tuesday night. Instead of half-listening to someone else, waiting to interrupt with the agenda/conversation you want, let this be the time that your partner drives and you follow. To follow means that your job is to hear what the other is saying and to follow their course of conversation instead of stopping it or redirecting it. Following is often difficult because we are so invested in showing that we are smart, right, good at judging and fond of protecting ourselves. Someone might suggest: Hey, we could try this or we could create that... and many of us are likely to respond, Yeah, but here's why it won't work or what's wrong with the idea. As adults--particularly during work hours--we are particularly good at the "but"s. Men in particular never learned how to follow on the dance floor so the whole idea of waiting for and following the steps of another can be quite foreign.
Like an improvisor who sees her partner throw an imaginary ball and therefore puts up her arm to catch it, we follow by suspending judgment and fully accepting an offered idea as true, brilliant and full of possibility (regardless of what our "Yes, but," judging mind believes). Then we say, "Yes, And..." to the idea, building on rather than blocking or challenging what was offered. We use our imagination to heighten and bring to life the suggestion driven by the other person. Later, in a good collaboration, it will be our turn to drive and our partner's to follow and build on our idea. This give and take, where we support and expand what our collaborators suggest, and they do the same, sparks everyone's creativity, airs more possibilities and makes for more fruitful collaboration and brainstorming.
We get somewhere new together faster and also make our collaborators much happier when we spend time following--practice it and you'll see.